John Podesta Executed at GITMO

Clinton co-conspirator. John Podesta was the embodiment of evil—“was” being the operative word. On Tuesday morning at precisely 8:00 a.m. GITMO time, a military firing squad composed of Marine volunteers gave Podesta a 6-gun salute center mass.

Two hours earlier, military police had awoken Podesta and asked whether he wanted a final meal. A tearful and trembling Podesta reportedly refused a last repast, saying he had no appetite while whining about how Donald J. Trump and the U.S. military had convicted an innocent man.

Shackled at the wrists and ankles, Podesta was placed in a Humvee and driven to a clearing a kilometer southeast of Marine Hill, home to the fictional Lt. Col. Nathan R. Jessup in the film A Few Good Men.

The clearing was featureless except for freshly trimmed grass and a cement wall that measured 6’x6x2’. A small group of both military and civilian onlookers watched as two MPs removed Podesta from the Humvee and escorted him to the cement barricade, demanding he stand motionless before it.

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The most recognizable attendees were Rear Adm. Crandall, who prosecuted the military’s case against Podesta, and, surprisingly, Marine Corps General David H. Berger, who recently assumed the role of Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff after unseating Gen. Mark A. Milley, who now stands accused of treason.

Six marines, rifles at their side, faced the barricade and Podesta at 20 yards.

“If the condemned has any last words, or wants Last Rites, now’s the time,” Rear Adm. Crandall said.

“I don’t want to die. I didn’t do anything. This is an aberrant violation of due process. I don’t want to die alone like this,” Podesta said.

General Berger spoke up: “You needn’t worry about dying alone. Hillary’s waiting for you, wherever you’re headed, and we’ll be sending plenty more company your way.”

Asked whether he wished to be blindfolded, Podesta said, “Does it matter?”

Rear Adm. Crandall addressed the firing squad: “When I give the command to fire, you’re to fire your rifles simultaneously, center mass. The magazines on your rifles hold only one round each. You will chamber that round on the ‘ready’ command. One cartridge holds a blank. If any of you soldiers feel guilty afterward, just convince yourself that it was your rifle that fired the blank. Remember, you volunteered for this duty.”

He gave the ‘ready’ command, and the Marines raised their rifles and chambered their single round of ammunition.

“Aim,” Rear Adm. Crandall said.

The Marines drew a bead on Podesta’s chest.

Podesta called out to God.

“Fire!” Rear Adm. Crandall ordered.

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At once the six Marines discharged their weapons, and Podesta’s perforated body slumped forward and collapsed to the ground. A physician present felt for a pulse and placed a stethoscope to Podesta’s blood-stained chest, then declared him dead.

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